Funniest Parenting Tweets: What Moms And Dads Said On Twitter This Week

The news out of Baton Rouge, St.Paul and Dallas this week has left the country mourning with parents all over wondering how exactly they should be discussing the current state of our country with kids. Though there certainly isn’t much to be laughing about today, we’ve decided to publish our weekly roundup of funny tweets by parents just to give you a moment of levity.    

Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!

Before I had kids, I didn't know I could drink a pot of coffee before 6am.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) July 6, 2016

I case y'all need a break from the grim news cycle, my 3yo has informed me she changed her name to Poem Ice Cream Leopard Baby.

— kristin (@shriekhouse) July 7, 2016

America's founders fought for a lot but I'm pretty sure my 5yo's right to be this annoying so early in the morning was not part of the deal.

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) July 5, 2016

I stuck a "Baby On Board" sign on my minivan to warn the other drivers how fussy and tantrum-y I get when traffic's bad or I miss my nap.

— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) July 5, 2016

Parenthood is filling your kids day with activities that will make them tired only they wind up with more energy & you wind up passed out.

— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) July 7, 2016

The only thing my kids dislike more than sitting still is when I sit still.

— Doyin Richards (@daddydoinwork) July 5, 2016

4-year-old: Why do I have to get dressed today?

Me: You have to get dressed every day.

She's still on the floor.

I ruined her entire life

— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 5, 2016

I'm "fine, eat a freaking corn dog for breakfast I can't even fight about it right now" tired this morning.

— Diane Huntington (@idtweetforever) July 8, 2016

13 just texted me from the bathroom and asked for toilet paper.

I didn't respond because it's never too early to teach them about marriage.

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) July 6, 2016

Friend: "Your baby looks so much like you."

Me: [food all over my face]

— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) July 7, 2016

If you were wondering, when your 4 year old asks you if she can cut her hair, there's a 100% chance it's because she already did.

— Court (@Discourt) July 6, 2016

My 6yo is offering to teach me how to fight in Minecraft, or maybe he's threatening me, I'm not sure.

— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) July 7, 2016

Me: "Don't do that!"

Toddler: *Proceeds to do it anyway...*

Every. Damn. Day.

— MommieKnowsfresh (@MommieKnwsFresh) July 5, 2016

My son's laundry from camp last week was just three items of clothing and a towel inside a bag of dirt.

— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) July 5, 2016

Kid: Can I have--

Me: No.

Kid: What about--

Me: No.

Kid: Please can I--

Me: No.

Grocery shopping sounds like a Meghan Trainor song.

— Momma of Midgard (@MidgardMomma) July 7, 2016

There is a half-eaten piece of toast on the back seat of my car because I have kids.

— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) July 8, 2016

Today I'm just going to enjoy the innocence of my little boy's confusion between freckles, knuckles, and nipples...

— Karen Callahan (@totmessmom) July 8, 2016

Which is worse: that I had to wear a Frozen bandaid cuz all the regular ones were taken or that I spent 5 min. deciding between Anna & Elsa?

— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) July 5, 2016

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